It’s been a long, dark season—both literally and spiritually—but summer is finally here, and with it, the quiet unfolding of something new. I’m typing this from my new office space, sunlight spilling in as I overlook a backyard full of dandelions, bright blue sky, and pillowy clouds. Birds chirp. Cars pass. And sometimes, a trio of bunnies chases each other along the tree line. I quite like being back in the city.
I’ve never stayed in one place for long, and the older I get the more I despise moving—but one thing hasn’t changed: the wonder and hope that come with starting over.
This year I began therapy and I’ve been learning quite a lot about the coping behaviors that I’ve adopted into my identity — and I show up for myself every week trying to break them. It’s a beautiful, vulnerable, violent, and healing journey that feels less like a journey and more like discovery. Learning to be patient and kind with myself. Learning to be ok with being just ok. Learning that who I am when I am not performing has just as much value as who I am when I am exactly who I want to be. When I’m failing, when I’m wrong, when I don’t know the answer, or when I can’t take on another task, I am still loved.
If I could mark this season spiritually, it would have to be understanding Gods love and presence not being dependent on me. God has the power to keep me. For a long time I’ve struggled with turning all spiritual disciplines into work. I need to pursue God daily because he is looking for those who are looking for him, but then when I’m overwhelmed and miss my Bible reading I’m falling down hard on myself that maybe he’s left me and I don’t blame him, I’m so unfaithful. Not true. In fact, He keeps drawing me back to him. I’m learning to trust that His strength will always be stronger than my weakness.
Recently, my therapist and I had a conversation about 1 Corinthians 3:13 that talks about God testing the quality of everyones work and how anything built with the wrong material will be burned up. Think about the tabernacle, the ark, the temple. God provided instructions for measurements, and materials, and furnishings. I’ve been thinking about that a lot. What materials am I using for kingdom building? Am I kingdom building? Am I following instructions? I hope so.
My recent work includes marketing and social media for Grace Christian Academy, a website for a new school (Agriculture Science Academy) in South Texas, website/content management and social media for Done Already a local gutter and trim light company with superb and godly leadership, and the soft launch of Kingdom Marketplace, along with website maintenance and development for BRING Studios. The Lord has blessed me with the most excellent work, I am so honored to have the clients that I do.
The work I’m doing today feels like an offering: imperfect, evolving, but given with my whole heart. God hasn’t left. He keeps calling me back, again and again. And I’m learning to respond—not out of fear or striving, but out of love. It’s still a journey. But maybe that’s what this whole season is about—learning to start again, but this time with better materials. Not hustle, not shame, not perfectionism. But grace. Faith. A heart aligned with God’s instructions.
About the Author: Amber Rockey
