By Published On: October 1, 2023Views: 1262 min read

“My heat was an idol making factory” – Jackie Hill Perry

I heard this quote recently and it resonated with me so deeply. Reminded me of the movie “Inside Out” where Riley has this new ‘dream guy’ factory in her brain that spits out the current version of some boy who says “I would die for Riley”. Idol making factory. I like that illustration because my heart made similar idols.

I recently prayed a prayer that I had struggled to pray for a long time. Over a year. Unknowing what was about to come, I prayed with sincerity and God immediately responded by revealing the idol in my life that was hindering me. And by immediately I mean it took two months to see clearly but it was immediate – the very next morning it began it’s descent.

It was messy, internally. Starting with me getting what I thought I wanted and thinking that things were one way when really God was opening my heart to see where I was still unhealed. Each step I thought I knew what this was about and around every corner God was saying “It’s not that.. It’s this”. I clung to my idol desperately. How are we so stubborn to let go of the coping mechanisms that keep us in bondage? I verbally confessed and lamented the feeling of death, the feeling of being left in the furnace to burn it off. I’m well acquainted with the feeling of death when crucifying some part of my flesh – this idol had become such a part of me, I couldn’t feel where I started and it ended. I recognized the idol in a divine revelation given at 2:30am. Sitting on my floor, I heard the rumbling and cracking as it began to crumble.

Through it all, I praised God. I cried “Lord, help me”, an innumerable amount of times. Oh thank you, Lord, that you respond to me. You answer my prayers. And you protect me going through it. I am altered. I saw my helplessness without Christ. I saw my need to renew my mind.

God doesn’t waste any time when we are really ready. Trouble is, I don’t know if we can make ourselves be ready or even know if we truly are. But when you are and when you ask – God will move.

About the Author: Amber Rockey

Writer. Journal Creator. Web Developer. Saved by the power of the blood.